Surviving a Second Tragedy

Mark and Renée Grantham of Springfield, Missouri, relished a blissful marriage. After their wedding in 2020, their relationship continued to blossom beyond the honeymoon phase, into one of powerful joy, passion, fulfillment, and love.

On April 12, 2024, Renée wrapped her arms around Mark, proclaimed him to be her absolute best friend, and said they had packed in so many memories together it felt as though they had been married for 40 years rather than four.

Three days later, Renée died instantly, struck by a speeding driver of a sports utility vehicle as she rode her bicycle on a county road less than a mile from her home.

The 34-year-old Renée went on the quick bike ride in between teaching a class as an adjunct professor at her alma mater Evangel University and coaching track at New Covenant Academy. Renée had immersed herself in those ventures, as well as being a contracted writer for Assemblies of God ministries such as Adult & Teen Challenge, the Bible Engagement Project, AG World Missions, and AG News.

Her death came as a shock to those who knew her. Remembered for her bubbly personality, youthful exuberance, effervescent joy of life, radiant smile, and profound intellect and faith, she endeared herself to others, who felt invigorated by her presence.

“Anyone who interacted with her realized her intentional ability to connect on a personal level,” Mark says. “She had a unique, genuine, profound intensity.” His home is full of reminders: the baby grand piano Renée played near the entryway; a living room bookshelf devoted to photos of the couple; a photo blanket emblazoned with Renée’s face draping a sofa.

For Mark, Renée’s death came as the latest and greatest setback in a series of tragedies. Since June 2006, Mark has been a C5-level quadriplegic, with paralysis from his chest down. His first wife divorced him several years after the life-changing accident.

The disability catastrophe occurred only because of Grantham’s generous devotion to God and the Springfield church he has attended since age 3, Central Assembly of God. As a certified lifeguard, Grantham postponed a planned fishing trip and instead agreed to fill in as a volunteer monitoring children at a church camp swimming pool.

As the kids took a break, Grantham plunged down a six-foot high inflatable slide — which collapsed and bottomed out. Grantham hit the concrete on the side of the pool with his head, his momentum carrying him into the water. Unable to move his limbs, he sank, held his breath, and waited to be saved from drowning in a pool turned red from his bleeding head.

Subsequently, Grantham faced a lifetime of permanent debility. After a brief period of angst and soul-searching, Grantham determined that his life wouldn’t be determined by his disability, but rather of continued faith in God.

Renée’s sudden and unexpected demise sparked a repeat self-examination. Following a natural phase of shock and loneliness, Grantham quickly resolved to live life to the fullest once again.

“I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to you that really matters, it’s your response to it,” Grantham says.

Consequently, Grantham has chosen to treasure the pleasurable memories of life with Renée, rather than focus on the lost relationship. He is quick to point out that in a world of suffering, pain, and grief, he cannot recover or heal without an ongoing connection to Jesus. As a follower of Christ, Grantham says he must depend upon the Lord to carry him through moments of weakness. In addition, he is careful not to isolate himself.

“We’re never strong enough on our own,” Grantham says. “We always need other people in our lives and, most importantly, a partnership with Christ. All the ‘greats’ in the Bible were supported by a cast of players around them. None of them did it solely on their own.”

Grantham points out that one of Renée’s favorite hymns was “It Is Well with My Soul,” the lyrics penned by Horatio Spafford upon learning that his four daughters drowned when a ship sank crossing the Atlantic Ocean.

“I will continue to trust in God and His sovereignty,” Grantham says.

Grantham eschews comparisons some Christians have made that he is a modern equivalent of Job, saying the Old Testament figure endured much worse. Instead, he identifies more with the apostle Paul, who strove for contentment whatever the circumstances.

“Not a week goes by that I don’t think about the trials and tribulations Paul went through,” Grantham says. “He was beaten, tortured and imprisoned. Yet he wrote some of the most beautiful words behind bars in deplorable conditions.”

Grantham is determined to carry out what he believes Renée would want. In 2022, the couple started Ozarks Wheelchair Adventures, an organization that provides outdoor therapeutic recreational opportunities for spinal cord injury survivors. Mark is creating a foundation that will help meet the physical and spiritual needs of the disabled. Part of that involves the purchase of 100 acres near Springfield where those in wheelchairs can experience outdoor recreation.

“Renée celebrated every hour of each day,” Grantham says. “I want to honor her with the acquisition of this property.”

Although aides assist Grantham with activities of daily living every morning and evening, he participates in physical therapy regularly in an effort to stay in shape. At 43, he knows that will grow increasingly important as he ages.

“Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,” Grantham says. “Without being obsessive, we need to nourish our physical body as well as our spiritual being. It’s the vessel that we have.”

Grantham, who keeps busy in the insurance and investment sector, plans to publish Renée’s collected writings into a book this fall as a tribute to her legacy. With many examples compiled from Renée’s blogs and journal-like Facebook posts, the book will highlight encouraging, thought-provoking entries about the importance of a relationship with Christ. At times she wrote about longing for heaven.

“She never lost the wonder of taking notice of nature devised by God,” Grantham says. “She wanted to point others to His power, omniscience, patience, and love.”

PARENTAL EMOTIONS
Since the tragedy, Grantham has grown closer to Renée’s parents, Lew and Christine Griffith. The Griffiths moved to Springfield in 2020 from Humboldt, Kansas, where Lew served as an AG pastor. They, like Mark, are active at Central Assembly of God, and they credit the Lord, a supportive life group, family, and prayers from churchgoers with helping them through the trauma of Renée’s death.

The Griffiths, both 58, remember the zeal with which Renée began serving the Lord at age 11 in 2001. Renée boldly ignored a principal’s warning to remove the words Christ and God from her high school valedictorian speech, became a licensed AG minister, served as an AGWM missionary in Moldova and Russia, and graduated from Assemblies of God Theological Seminary. Framed pictures of Mark and Renée line the hallway wall in the couple’s home.

While naturally sorrowful, the Griffiths determined to take an eternal perspective to the untimely death of their only child.

“We’ve never asked, Why did this happen?” says Lew, who officiated at Renée and Mark’s wedding ceremony. “God has always kept us through trials.”

In the aftermath of the heartache, Lew and Christine say they came to see why their daughter loved her husband so much.

“We’ve discovered the depth of Mark’s sweetness, loyalty, and faith.” Christine says.

“He has become a son to us,” says Lew. The three likewise have forged a unique connection in grieving their departed loved one.

The Griffiths say they never could have survived the ordeal without the Lord’s strength, sensing the Holy Spirit as never before.

“The journey has been so surreal, yet we trust God’s character and goodness,” Christine says. “We still need to exalt Him.”

Grantham couldn’t agree more.

“We can allow our struggles to make us better,” Grantham says. “God is good and I trust Him, despite what happens.”

LOWER IMAGES: Photo credit - Portraitnovella